Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Deuteranopia Is Not My Only Burden

So, yeah. . .

It's been a while since I've posted an update on the going-ons in my life so here we go:

--First and foremost, while running the risk of jinxing myself, I should tell you that I'm anxiously waiting to be interviewed for an internship at Paste Magazine. If you're not familiar with this publication you should check out an issue or their really cool website. I don't even need to stress how cool this would be for me; it would be the first job I've ever had that actually has anything to do with what I studied in college.

The internship would be either in the Marketing/Business or the Editorial department. It would pay close to nothing but the experience and contacts I would make there would be priceless. And how could they not hire me after the internship is over? I'm adorable.

They emailed me today to let me know that I should go in for an interview. I really, really, really hope I get this. You should hope for this as well.

--I've been running a lot lately and lifting weights. I guess it's my last (and perhaps first) attempt at getting fit. I am seeing quite a difference in my body after just a short time so I'm actually sticking to it. I've already lost quite a chunk of the belly fat I've been nursing over the last...oh, I don't know, ten years or so and I'm actually building up muscle. I know, shocking! This shit actually works.

I'm doing it five times a week for about an hour or so, hopefully I won't burn out. I'm setting small goals for myself to keep me motivated and I guess my first is to run a 5k comfortably and at a good pace. I feel like I'm almost there already. I just hope my knees don't give out since I've had problems with them in the past due to old basketball injuries.

--In other bodily news, I'm losing my eyesight. Not like the whole way or anything, I'm not going blind (hopefully, although I'm already colorblind). However my eyesight has gotten exponentially worse in the last few months. I have a hard time focusing on text that is more than three feet away from me and my eyes get fatigued while driving at night. I'm also seeing the words I'm typing right now in a bit of haze and I haven't even been drinking (much)!

This is all a recent development as I've always had reliable eyesight and I must admit I'm very resentful that my eyes have given up on me so early. Yes, I haven't treated them in the best manner with all the tv watching and endless hours staring at computer screens, but I figured they would carry me at least into my thirties.

Now I'm faced with the daunting task of getting my eyes checked and eventually getting glasses. Contacts aren't an option as I would rather carve my name into my thigh with a rusty knife than have to touch my eyeball. That's just not happening. Adrienne told me that I look like a sexy professor with glasses on so I'm not too worried after all. Then again, it is her job as my girlfriend to lie to me to protect my fragile ego, so she can't be trusted.

--At least I can be thankful that I don't have restless leg syndrome because that might lead me to a severe gambling debt. Have you seen this? Adrienne brought it to my attention after she heard it on a tv commercial. And after some research we found out that apparently a side effect of Mirapex, a medication that eases the symptoms of restless leg syndrome (RLS), is a rise in compulsive behavior. However, they take it a step further by singling out compulsive gambling as the main form of adverse behavior.

First of all, I'm not yet convinced that restless leg syndrome is an actual medical condition, even though Adrienne swears her mother has it. And then you throw in compulsive gambling as a side effect and I'm left to assume that restless leg syndrome is the body's own deferral system against OCD and by taking Mirapex you're merely transferring the fixating anxiety from your legs to your head. Is this a good trade off? I think not. You may lose some sleep with RLS but at least you'll still have a roof over your head at the end of the day.

If you have RLS please don't take Mirapex. Just calm the fuck down. Or just smoke some weed before bed; it's less expensive and far safer.

All right, good night my sweet babies. Sleep the shit out of tonight for tomorrow is another day.

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