Saturday, May 10, 2008

Anderson Varejao: The Human Gimcrack

Is there a player in the NBA as worthless as Cleveland's Anderson Varejao?

Let me answer that for you. No, there is not.

In his four year career so far, he averages over 20 minutes per game but only contributes 6 points and 6 rebounds. He shoots 48% from the field as a post player, and 57% from the free throw line. He commits about 3 fouls and 1 turnover per game. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, those are very pedestrian statistics.

He has no jumpshot. He has no inside or post-up game. He doesn't, per se, "play" defense as much as he "poses" defensively. He flops every single time he's touched and every play he's involved in ends with his chubby, unathletic frame sprawled on the parquet.

As far as I can tell, there is no redeeming value to his presence on a basketball court.

Yet, he has played for four years in a league that can afford to be extremely selective. How does that happen? He must have incriminating evidence pertaining to the Cavaliers' owner or president or something because I know there's got to be another 6'10", 240 lb body that can take up space better than his.

Plus, he looks suspiciously like a certain nefarious Simpsons character:


Be wary of this Brazilian, be very wary....

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