Friday, February 20, 2009

Musings On Brokencyde: The Worst MySpace Band Ever

Part of my workday revolves around gathering MySpace Music data --a tedious and painstaking task, largely due to the considerable number of dubious "artists" represented on the site whose music and images I have to endure during my research.

A couple of months ago, I happened upon a band called Brokencyde (they write it "brokeNCYDE", but I'm not going to comply with such silliness). After a little examination, I informed my coworkers that, with all certainty, I had found the worst, most offensive band on MySpace ever (no small feat, let me assure you). They agreed.

Ever since then, Brokencyde has been a constant topic of discussion/ridicule/disgust in my office and, seemingly, in every other facet of my life as well. They have practically consumed my every waking thought and hours upon hours of my time that I will never get back. Today, as I happened on their profile again while working, I realized that I had spent more time thinking and listening to Brokencyde than most bands I actually like.

But no more. It ends today. I am using this blog as a means of closure and by paying them forward to you, I am exorcising these demons from my person once and for all. Just consider me little Regan MacNeil from The Exorcist and you, my friend, are about to be Father Karras.

And trust me, you'll want to throw yourself out the window too after you watch Brokencyde's video for a song called "Freaxxx":



I know, right. There's no words to describe what you just saw.

Well, let's let British commentator Warren Ellis do the talking. He calls Brokencyde's "Freaxxx" music video "a near-perfect snapshot of everything that’s shit about this point in the culture."

Well put.

But perhaps August Brown of the Los Angeles Times sums up Brokencyde best by quipping:
"[Brokencyde] has done for MySpace emo what some think Soulja Boy did for hip-hop: turn their career into a kind of macro-performance art that exists so far beyond the tropes of irony and sincerity that to ask 'are they kidding?' is like trying to peel an onion to get to a perceived central core that, in the end, does not exist and renders all attempts to reassemble the pieces futile."
Couldn't have said it better myself...

51 comments:

  1. WTF is up with the primal screams intermingled with the hip-hop? I think you've managed to find one fine example of a big stinking pile of shit!

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  2. That, it is. That video is still appalling every time I watch it.

    btw, I didn't know you were blogging, consider yourself added to my Google Reader.

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  3. For your enjoyment, they are playing the VANS Warped Tour and will be in the ATL (~insert random screeeeeeaaaaam~) on July 28th.

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  4. Wow. Is it just me, or is everyone in this video like 5'2"? Also, "LIAR!"

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  5. you're so dumb LOL
    sad how you old men think you know what good music is

    BC13 MOTHER FUCKER

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  6. brokenCYDE is the BEST FUCKING BAND EVER. you can all go FUCK YOURSELVES.

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  7. brokencyde is great, get over yourselves. just because you have different taste than other people doesn't mean its total shit.
    they have fun, and they can make money off of it.
    and all of their MILLIONS of fans love them for it.
    RANDOM SCREAMS ARE GREAT.
    fuck you, go listen to your bull shit music now.
    BYEE.

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  8. BrokeNCYDE own the whold world so shut the fuck up noobs.

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  9. lol...
    thats funny...
    randome screams are great, and they use them wisely however yes sometimes they can use them a lil much.
    BC13 is a great band and they express what they feel and think in their music everyone has a right to do that.
    if they can make money off of it so be it.
    besides if that was you doing that, i think you would like it



    BC13 mother fuckers

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  10. "Lets get fucking drunk tonight" is expressing their feelings?Wow - how pure and sincere! -John R

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  11. Gahah! You got invaded by tweens, homie.

    I watched this video like six months ago and wanted to wretch.

    Yet another sign of the decline of man.

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  12. omg... millions of fans? i consider myself up on the music scene (and in my early 20s thus not old) and i have NEVER heard of them til this post. (thanks a lot luca!) who are these millions of fans?? xoxo

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  13. Wow.
    Okay, glad to see you have some way to vent dry-spell.
    I have to agree, BrokeNCYDE is a totally shit band, but I love them for it.
    If I could be doing anything with my life, I'd love to be doing fuck-all with it and having the time of my life cause it sure as hell beats a life in a cubicle crunching numbers.
    What's wrong with having a good time?
    Though, I do have to agree with you again. The video is basically the worst thing I've seen in, well, let's say a long time to forever.
    HAH!, but yes, BC13 mother to the fuckers.
    And I will be having a good time getting freaky now at Warped in ATL when they come in July and laughing about silly old men who hate-blog on trashy-ass bands. :)

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  14. God damn. All you silly little emo kids that keep posting comments, just stfu already. Brokencyde are completely untalented, completely moronic, and obviously you are too. I could give you a list of better bands that would wrap around the world a few hundred times. Brokencyde own the world? Haha yeah, that's why they're still on Myspace, trying to get famous. GEEAWD. Brokencyde and bands like them are the cancer that is killing the music industry. So please, all Brokencyde fans who read this blog, hang yourselves naow and save everyone else the trouble of having to deal with your pissy little subculture.

    Anonymous OUT

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  15. Brokencyde are allright. Freaxxx is actually one of their songs I dont like and the music video is absolutely terrible. Maybe you should try some of their older stuff, its less stupid. But there newer stuff can be so fun to listen to.

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  16. this band is fucking awful, i dont care how many people like them. millions of people voted for hitler in the thirties, and that didnt make it any better of an idea. in a year, no one will remember this band.

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  17. Oh, GOD. Totally agreed. Have you heard their song 2drunk? Music is almost tolerable but the lyrics are the shittiest thing I've ever heard. "lick my penis up and down, up and down," then "*SCREAM*BLABBLAHFUCKEDUPFUCKBLAHBLAAAAAAB!"

    It's like they vomited music. If you can call it that.

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  18. Brokencyde isn't a shitty band, you fucking old man.

    Shut up your fucking mouth .|.

    Brokencyde is my crew
    And there ain't NOTHING you can do so FUCK YOU!

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  19. WOW! Holy freaking crapp.
    I love BC13;
    You guys are gay!
    They are the freaking best!
    I love Screamo, and I love Hip-Hop
    It's perfect.
    STOP HATINGG!

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  20. Brokencyde SUCKS A FAT DICK and this guy is the wisest dude ever for telling you! Stop screaming at your computer screen like the retarded video and go try to jerk them off at warped tour.

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  21. brokeNCYDE fucking rocks their music is some of the best

    BC-13 Mother Fucker

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  22. there is no talent at all in this group.

    autotune + random sluts + faggot emo kid screaming + social waste = brokencyde.

    Where is the musical talent?
    Where is the dynamic ranges?

    Where is anything.

    Sucks because this is going to spawn more bullshit we will hear on the radio.

















    Idiots.

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  23. Who are you to say what good music is... The are so many people who love Brokencyde, and just because you hate them doesn't mean you should talk shit about them and piss all their fans off. Learn how to keep some things to yourself, no one cares about what you think.

    Brokencyde 4ever <333

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  24. BC13 Assholes!

    This band, no matter what you say, is good. That would be like going around and saying the rolling stones arent good, its all personal preference. You don't HAVE to sit there and bash it, I mean, you could just get a fucking life.

    BC13 BC13 BC13

    Oh, and i forgot
    BC13 MOTHERFUCKERS

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  25. Ok, well first I have to say everyone has a right to diss a band they don't like, but then the fans of that band have a right to diss right back. I listen to Brokencyde, and like most of their songs. And I am as far away from being emo as the europe is from the US. So not everyone is "emo" who listens to their music. Yeah, Freaxx isn't one of their best, but some of their other songs are pretty good, if you like Screamo mixed with Hip Hip. As for their still being on Myspace, "trying to get famous" I can name many other artists who are on Myspace, such as The Jonas Brothers, Taylor Swift, Rammstein, hell, even Michael Jackson had a promotional myspace! Of course, everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and I respect that. I was merely sharing mine.

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  26. oh man... i can't believe people actually like this. i thought at first it was a joke. Now knowing that these guys might consider themselves serious musicians i don't know wheather to laugh, cry, puke or shit myself... which makes be think the should rename their band "thebrowNNOTE" heh!

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  27. Looks like some faggot fanboy from myspace found this and brought the flies to the shit. Oh well, what can you do. I wouldn't be surprised if it's them trying to defend their own short lived popularity.

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  28. WOW this band sucks.

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  29. The thing is that they started their carrer being a depressive emo band, at least wanting to look like it and they've turned absolutely lucrative, commercial and meaningless. Now scream in their songs means nothing anymore... Mixing scream and hip-hop is like playing Aerosmith over a Tchaikovski symphony, which means, completely random... And no, I'm not a 50 y/o that talks about music in youth's lives, I am 13 and I listen to emo bands like Atreyu and Evanescence and my friend made me listen to one of their songs and I was completely stoked. That's not emo. That's just offensive and vulgar.

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  30. IF YOU DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT DON'T FUCKING LISTEN TO IT. I'M PRETTY SURE THEY COULD GIVE A FUCK LESS IF YOU LIKE THEM OR NOT SO KEEP THE FUCKING MOUTH SHUT. THERE ARE PLENTY OTHER THINGS THAT YOU CAN LISTEN TO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM. YOU'RE JUST WASTING YOUR FUCKING LIFE AWAY, GO FUCKING SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FACE.
    BC13 IS FO-LIFE. <3

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  31. You guys suck, Ok?
    Just because you dont like a fucking genre of music, Doesnt mean you have to bitch and moan on a blog.
    Get a FUCKING LIFE.
    Love Brokencyde.
    Bastards...

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  32. Wow, you're wasting just as much time as anyone else by trying to defend your precious "BC13". If you really didn't care what people thought of them, you wouldn't post anything at all. We're all going to have different opinions obviously, so everyone should just fucking grow some balls and stop. Let the man express his hatred. He doesn't have to listen to "brokencyde", and you don't have to listen to him.

    (they totally are the worst band of all time. In my opinion,haha))

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  33. Never thought I would ever hear tripe in the form of brokencyde ever!! If you angst emo teens want real screamo, get your ear around the real stuff, spineshank, slipknot, strapping young lad, etc etc. Then as a wise person once said, headbutt a bullet. Bc13 has no place in music ever, except maybe for others to mock and throw shit over while laughing at the lame ass fans of their shit run around kicking and screaming how good bc13 is.

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  34. Shit sucks. QQ more emofags.

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  35. Brokencyde is awesome, BC13 for life <3

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  36. they are alright. i mean ive heard better and ive heard worse. i mean they do have some odd songs. but i do admit they are WAYYY better than Miley Cyrus. hell anyone is better than Miley Cyrus.

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  37. wow! how are you gonna hate on BC13!??! they made their own effing genre, which is way better than what you do, sit on your computer judging a band that IS good.

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  38. alright lets compare here...........
    BC13 made there own fucking genre, WHO FUCKING CARES.

    Black Sabbath MADE FUCKING HEAVY METAL!!!
    a genre that is still around today..

    Brokencyde made uh CRUCKCORE? a genre that is already starting to die. this band sucks. the worst piece of shit ever, MILEY CYRUS along with the FUCKING JONAS BROTHERS HAS MORE TALENT IN THERE little FINGERS than BROKENCYDE!!!
    this is not an opinion its a Fucking FACT!
    they went into the studio and FUCKING FAILED!!!

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  39. I am far from what you call close minded about music. I like something from every genre and subgenre that I have heard (and trust me, I have heard a lot.

    I gave this group a shot, and quite frankly, I fail to hear anything good. Overused generic beats, terrible autotone, bad screaming, but most of all the worst lyrics I have ever had the misfortune of hearing. It's word vomit.

    There is no talent here. At all.

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  40. FUCK YOU! SERIOUSLY BROKENCYDE IS THE BEST BAND EVER! GO FUCK YOURSELVES! THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG AND BAND EVER SINCE MY OLDER SISTER INTRODUCED ME TO THEIR MUSIC! SO SHUT UP, LEAVE THEM ALONE,AND GO LISTEN TO MUSIC FROM YOUR TIME PERIOD!(A.K.A.- THE 1920S)
    BC13 MOTHER FUCKERS! HAHA!

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  41. they scream ....... it's retarded like unless your into punk music or rock or anything like that this is crap

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  42. I'm going to try my best not to look like some absent-minded teenager that doesn't have anything to say but "fuck you".

    I would simply like to point out that BrokeNCYDE not only captures melodic beats and spot-on rhythm, they have witty and amusing lyrics (although obscene). Unlike other popular music groups, they have actual notes and melodies in their songs; much better than a repetitive monotone back-beat. This music can also fit into the playlists of many individuals; from those who like hip-hop to those who enjoy heavy deathcore. What makes them unique, though, is that they will never be overrated. But besides all that, I see that everybody is tired of "emofag" music. Well, isn't that stuff sad and depressing? BrokeNCYDE and similar artists always put me in a happier and more carefree state of mind. I think you'd take that over self-pity any day; I know for sure that I would.

    In addition, I've been playing music for over half my life, and I'm not even a legal adult yet. Is it such a surprise that I appreciate music with depth? I can certainly see where you are coming from, disliking the explicit nature of everything. I mean, I hate hoes just as much as the next person. But in order to realize the brilliance of it all, one needs to look past the MySpace photo and use more than their eyes.

    Now, I realize and respect that everybody is entitled to their own taste and opinion, and that is why I am posting mine here. It is, however, highly unappreciated when somebody who probably has no personal musical experience has the nerve to declare a well-loved band the absolute worst and most heinous band ever. I doubt everybody absolutely adores whatever shit you stick into your ears either.

    Also: I'd like to see you attempt any hardcore screams. Believe it or not, those sorts of vocals take quite a bit of talent and practice.
    I think you're the fail here, sir.
    -BREE BREE, NIKKUH.

    And as for the supplemental hate comments:
    1. You can't auto-tune a pig squeal, dumbasses.
    2. Not everything that screams is freaking "emo". BrokeNCYDE is not emo. It's crunk-core.
    3. You wouldn't call them faggots if you listened to the lyrics, obviously.

    At this point, I should stop. I think I'll go listen to their discography.

    "one, two, i'm coming for you; three, four, lock your door; five, six; suck on my dick.
    BROKENCYDE WILL NEVER DIE!" -schitzo.

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  43. @briannapiranha

    In other words, I have shit taste in music.

    Also, TLDR and STFU

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  44. HAHAHAHAHAHA, all you silly kids who THINK you know good music. Did your English teachers ever teach you the meaning of the word oxymoron? Here's an example of one: Brokencyde performs music. Lrn2REALmusic you silly fucks, and grow the fuck up!

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  45. That video.. Wow... I'm in a band..,and now at least i know where i won't let my band turn out to be..

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  46. Im getting tired of ppl arguing about music. whats the point its music. let it be plz. Older ppl had a different life style and are used to that not the 2000's. So sorry if your confused but this is how it is life is to short to worry about it.

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  47. Growing up is a mind passed high school and telling others to grow up isnt any better. So in a way your a hypocrite in my opinion.

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  48. In 3000 something ppl will argue the same thing. So i guess there is no point to stop it, but atleast we can reduce the ppl in this generation. This is what i think there older musicians influenced our now day musicians which will influence the next generation. We cant have the same all the time. If the sun was out 24/7 we would be frying. If music was the same we would be bored of it.

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