Thursday, October 8, 2009

Tom Waits Is The Best!

Tom Waits, this Blingee represents my love for you!
Tom Waits Is The Best
Have I ever mentioned how Tom Waits is the best?

Well, he is.

You'd think that his music alone would qualify him for this title... and you'd be right. But there's so much more to Mister Waits. Soooo much fucking more.

He's a composer, an actor, a master storyteller, a curator of American folklore, a walking monument honoring his own greatness. He's undeniably the coolest human being to ever walk this filthy rock. The mere concept of avant-garde was created in an attempt to describe his "beyondness." He is in fact beyond the bounds of the trivial nature of musical trends and fashions. He is eternally relevant and as constant and familiar as gravity itself.

You know those Dos Equis commercials with "the most interesting man in the world"? Yeah, that man looks wistfully to the sky each night and wishes he was Tom Waits.

Hyperbole doesn't even do him justice.

He's in a movie with Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Colin Farrell, and yet, Tom Waits is the one who steals the show and totally makes me swoon:

I mean, who would ever think of announcing a concert tour like this:

No one, I tells you! Are you getting all this?! Do I have to say it again?!? TOM WAITS THE BEST!!! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

If there was a city called Awesomeville, Tom Waits would be its Mayor-For-Life and it would always be ranked #1, #2, and #4 on those "Best Places To Live In The World" countdowns. I'd move there in a hummingbird's heartbeat and punch myself in the face for each previous day that I had not lived there.

I don't know how else I can express my feelings on this. I'm done.

Oh, but you know who else is the best? Steve Buscemi.

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