Cat Ladies Documentary Crushes My Dreams

Not many of you may know that I secretly yearn to be a cat lady.

What can I say? I like kitties.

However, this documentary doesn't make it look like much fun. Bummer. Another dream crushed by the cruel grips of reality.

[Cat Ladies]

Is Primus The Most Inimitable Band Of The Nineties?

In one word, yes.

Well, at least according to me, they are.

And I base this on one simple fact: No band subsequent to Primus sounds like Primus.

Some people might argue that Korn or some of the other nü-metal bands sounded like Primus (if not in aesthetic, at least aurally) but I find that comparison to be extremely shallow—slap bass does not a Primus make—Les Claypool's playing is far too dynamic and virtuosic to be narrowly defined. And where's the manic Zappa-inspired guitar histrionics of Larry LaLonde or the progressive drums of Tim "Herb" Alexander (or his replacement, Bryan "Brain" Mantia) in Korn?

And clearly, the lack of rightful heirs to the Primus throne is not due to the band toiling in obscurity throughout the Nineties. Actually, it's quite the contrary, they had two albums certified Platinum (Sailing The Seas Of Cheese & Pork Soda) and one certified Gold (Tales From The Punchbowl.) Their songs, "My Name Is Mud" and "Winona's Big Brown Beaver" got radio spins on the regular, and all of their innovative, cartoonish videos were tailor-made for MTV.

Obviously, people were exposed to the music. So, what kept bands from trying to replicate that Primus sound?

It also raises another interesting question: Does it say more about a band's uniqueness to be copied by dozens of clones, or not to be imitated at all?

Hmm... Contemplate that while watching this video for "Mr. Krinkle":

What other bands does this apply to? I think Morphine is a good candidate, but please, enlighten me with suggestions in the comment section.

Religion Relies Mostly On Your Love Of Bacon And/Or Hummus

As a companion to a previously posted diagram, here's this helpful chart:

Sweet Irony

I'd hate to be around for next week's "Biblical Plagues And Pestilence" class...

Rammstein's Members' Members On Full Display In New Box Set

This new Limited Deluxe Box Set of Rammstein's new album, Liebe Ist Für Alle Da, has to have the best value-added content than any other box set I've seen. Included are the album, a disc with extra tracks, a pair of handcuffs, a bottle of lube, and six dildos shaped like the band members’ members.

And I thought this AC/DC box set with a working guitar amp was the most interactive piece of packaging I'd ever seen...

If you've got about $400 to spare and you reeeeeally love Rammstein (this describes no one I know), you can pre-order the set here.

Stop Ogling Me, Will Shortz!

I do about one New York Times crossword puzzle per day, and judging by the number of times the word ogle appears in their puzzles (seems like about every third one), it makes me think:

a) There must not be too many other words in the English language with the letter combination of "Vowel-G-L-Vowel" (I can only think of ugly, and that's if you use the "and sometimes y" vowel rule.)

OR

b) Crossword puzzle authors are kinda creepy.

Just a thought...

Another One Of My Songs For Your Enjoyment/Ridicule

It's time for another song from the vaults. This one was written and recorded a few years back around the time of my first niece's birth. The song reflects the occasion, it's very melodic and lullaby-like. As per usual, it was recorded in my bedroom and I played all the instruments (haphazardly...)

Let me know what you think:

Want more? Go here for something completely different.

Or go here to download this for free!

Great Moments In Photoshop

Yalta Conference, 1945 by Toyib

Letter From Albert Einstein On Religion

In January of 1954, Albert Einstein wrote the following letter to philosopher Eric Gutkind after reading his work, Choose Life: The Biblical Call to Revolt, a book about religious and optimistic humanism based on Jewish Biblical teaching.

I find this letter to be a great insight into Einstein's philosophical understanding of religion, which is often misunderstood or misrepresented in theological conversations.

The letter was bought at auction in May 2008, for £170,000.

Translation From German:

Princeton, 3. 1. 1954

Dear Mr Gutkind,

Inspired by Brouwer’s repeated suggestion, I read a great deal in your book, and thank you very much for lending it to me ... With regard to the factual attitude to life and to the human community we have a great deal in common. Your personal ideal with its striving for freedom from ego-oriented desires, for making life beautiful and noble, with an emphasis on the purely human element ... unites us as having an “American Attitude.”

Still, without Brouwer’s suggestion I would never have gotten myself to engage intensively with your book because it is written in a language inaccessible to me. The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weakness, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still purely primitive, legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this. ... For me the Jewish religion like all other religions is an incarnation of the most childish superstition. And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong ... have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are also no better than other human groups, although they are protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything “chosen” about them.

In general I find it painful that you claim a privileged position and try to defend it by two walls of pride, an external one as a man and an internal one as a Jew. As a man you claim, so to speak, a dispensation from causality otherwise accepted, as a Jew of monotheism. But a limited causality is no longer a causality at all, as our wonderful Spinoza recognized with all incision...

Now that I have quite openly stated our differences in intellectual convictions it is still clear to me that we are quite close to each other in essential things, i.e. in our evaluation of human behavior ... I think that we would understand each other quite well if we talked about concrete things.

With friendly thanks and best wishes,

Yours,

A. Einstein

Two Scoops Of Punk

Henry Rollins and Ian MacKaye photographed by Suzie Horgan at a Georgetown Häagen-Dazs ice cream store.

America Will Blow Up The Moon

On the eve of this, I couldn't help but think of this:

Tom Waits Is The Best!

Tom Waits, this Blingee represents my love for you!

Have I ever mentioned how Tom Waits is the best?

Well, he is.

You'd think that his music alone would qualify him for this title... and you'd be right. But there's so much more to Mister Waits. Soooo much fucking more.

He's a composer, an actor, a master storyteller, a curator of American folklore, a walking monument honoring his own greatness. He's undeniably the coolest human being to ever walk this filthy rock. The mere concept of avant-garde was created in an attempt to describe his "beyondness." He is in fact beyond the bounds of the trivial nature of musical trends and fashions. He is eternally relevant and as constant and familiar as gravity itself.

You know those Dos Equis commercials with "the most interesting man in the world"? Yeah, that man looks wistfully to the sky each night and wishes he was Tom Waits.

Hyperbole doesn't even do him justice.

He's in a movie with Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Colin Farrell, and yet, Tom Waits is the one who steals the show and totally makes me swoon:

I mean, who would ever think of announcing a concert tour like this:



No one, I tells you! Are you getting all this?! Do I have to say it again?!? TOM WAITS THE BEST!!! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

If there was a city called Awesomeville, Tom Waits would be its Mayor-For-Life and it would always be ranked #1, #2, and #4 on those "Best Places To Live In The World" countdowns. I'd move there in a hummingbird's heartbeat and punch myself in the face for each previous day that I had not lived there.

I don't know how else I can express my feelings on this. I'm done.

Oh, but you know who else is the best? Steve Buscemi.

Benin Empire Had The Best Flag Ever

The Benin Empire lasted from 1440 until 1897 in what would be modern-day Nigeria. Judging by their flag above, they did not fuck around, but at least they were very upfront about their intentions.

Two cheers for being forthright.

[via BoingBoing]

Photo Of The Year

A farmer sprays milk on police forces during a protest against falling milk prices outside the European Headquarters on October 5, 2009 in Brussels.

[Photo by Georges Gobet, AFP/Getty Images.]

Look, I Made Music Once. Am I Cool Now? Guys. Guys? Where Are You Going?!

Don't even act like I don't play guitar. I've got proof right here.

The time was 2002 (or 2003... I don't really remember) and the place was the basement of a house on Vine Ridge Road in Nashville, Tennessee. My roommate and I set forth to record a song with only one microphone, an old computer, and a bass line to aid us. What resulted (amongst other things) was this instrumental track.

James Shadinger played drums, I played bass, and we both overdubbed guitar parts (me in the left channel, James on the right.)

I can positively say that I was listening to a lot of Mogwai at the time and that they had something or other to do with the overall post-rock feeling of the song. It's definitely a track that takes its sweet damn time to develop. Basically, it requires some patience on your part, but goddam it, it pays off! I swear!

All right, enough talk, why don't you just listen to the damn thing:



If you go to Near Femme's (the name for all my music projects) page on Bandcamp, you can download this track for free in a variety of formats (mp3, aac, flac, Apple lossless). It would be cool if you did. I might just start posting more songs in the future, that is, if you're interested.

As always, thanks for reading, and now, listening.

National Geographic Photographs Giant Redwood

[Note the tiny people in red coats for size reference]

From Gizmodo:

Wildlife photographer Michael Nichols wanted to photograph a 300-foot-tall redwood in a dense forest with no clear lines of sight. So he built a custom camera rig to take tons of close-ups to stitch together. The result is a stunning composite of 83 different shots of this incredible tree. Look for a huge foldout of the image in the October issue of National Geographic, and here's a video of Nichols talking about the process of capturing the image.

The new National Geographic is on newsstands now.